Bottom 5

After going through my top ten anime of all time, I got to thinking. Which anime do I hate the most? I’m not talking about disliking an anime, I’m talking about despising it. Loathing it. Wishing fire upon it and setting a giant enemy crab on it. Fortunately, these anime have been few and far between. I grew up in the late nineties and early noughties where anime was harder to get hold of and the shows you did find were usually classics worthy of a western release. As such, my exposure to shoddy anime was limited [thank god!]. This has changed thanks to the wonders of the internet. Thanks for that, intertubes! Reviewing Kenzen Robo Daimidaler and finding out that Studio TNK was behind it spurred me to get a chart on this site and finally put down a top five list…this might go to a top ten in the fullness of time though; but for now, here’s my five worst anime to have ever been exposed to my eyeballs.

Please be aware that this is my personal list and the anime listed may not be in your list or you may even like them; that is perfectly cool and you’re entitled to your opinion. Let’s go.

#5 – Itsudatte, My Santa! [Always, My Santa!] [2005]

Itsudatte, My Santa is one of Ken Akamatsu’s lesser known creations. Released just after the more popular Negima! series began airing, this Christmas special is about a young man whose life is ruined by the whole idea of Christmas. Left alone by his parents, he is left bitter and twisted. His name? Santa. Ouch, I can’t take this seriously after that. You may think that this tale is really tragic and packed with moments of poignancy and drama…but no. Why would it be on this list if that were the case? No, this show is terrible and gets my blood boiling for the sheer fact that are so many times where the plot can be potentially nullified. For example, his parents didn’t abandon him. They went to look after orphaned children in another country and remember their son fondly and named him Santa for purely innocent reasons; not to be bitter. Santa claims he has no friends, but he does. Loads of them whom he chooses to ignore and pretend didn’t exist merely to make himself feel neglected. His attitude stinks. The main girl, Mai, who tries to teach him about the spirit of Christmas isn’t much better. A below-average student of the Santa Claus Academy, she is sent to cure Santa and even though she does do it in the end, she goes about it in rather oddball ways. The saving grace here is that she proves that Santa is a real jerk [the guy, not Santa Claus – that guy’s awesome!]. Santa kills the plot for me and as such, I can’t stand this anime. One of Akamatsu’s stinkers. Stick to Hayate The Combat Butler and Love Hina.

#4 – Recently My Sister Is Unusual [2014]

I have talked myself hoarse with how much I hate this anime. It’s meant to be a light-hearted tale about how two teenagers whose parents have married must adapt to their new status as siblings. Mitsuki [the main girl] is shy and acts like a right madame to her brother Yuuya despite his kindness and willingness to get along. That would be fine enough; if only the mischievous and sexually explicit ghost Hiyori didn’t enter the frame and turn this anime into an incestuous mess. I watched this in spurts and thought it would calm down towards the end. It didn’t. The ending sent me into a talespin of fury to which I am still reeling from days later. I am going to save my anger for the next three shows and merely point you to my full review on the show so you can understand somewhat. -> FULL REVIEW

#3 – Kanokon: The Girl Who Cried Wolf [2008]

Ohhhhh man I detest this show with a passion. Why? The two main characters are utterly shameless in their repellence. Our main ‘guy’ Kouta is an absolute weed and probably one of the meekest male leads I’ve ever seen in an anime, I suspect he surpasses Shinji Ikari from Evangelion when it comes to being whiny! Kouta’s attitude is so feeble that I’m left feeling like I should ask him to return his manhood to a more deserving owner. Then we get Chizuru, our main lady. A rampant fox spirit, she has the hots for Kouta [I don’t know why!] and constantly thrusts her ample chest in his face with the hopes of him declaring his love for her and them making loads of little fox babies. As you can probably tell, I get annoyed with nonsensical plots and blatant fanservice that has little taste. Kanokon is a prime example of this in that most of the plot is about Chizuru flaunting her assets in the hope that Kouta will bite…hard; and long. Then we get Nozomu, a dog spirit inside a girl’s body, who is equally attracted to Kouta in a different way which is thankfully more akin to a teenager. The whole thing ends with the three of them being sexually complicit with Chizuru – CHIZURU – accepting Nozomu as Kouta’s mistress. WHA?! Unreal. I remember watching this and declaring that this show was the point that anime was becoming populated with fanservice-driven shows with little plot and massive…yeah. I now know that fanservice has been around for decades and that my sentiments were a little ignorant, but I still feel that modern anime does tend to rely a little too heavily on a boob jiggle here and panty shot there for its own good.

#2 – School Days [2007]

OH. MY. GOD. The hate is strong with this one. Why? Makoto, our main character, is the worst and most morally corrupt teenage lead I’ve ever seen. The show starts off simply being a romance tale of Makoto having a crush on a girl named Kotonoha who is sweet, popular and has an ample frontage. A perfect combination for a teenage guy to try and conquer. A girl named Sekai who sits next to Makoto in class offers to help hook them up and both Makoto and Kotonoha actually end up together after the first episode. However, things quickly descend into drama when Makoto changes his mind and cheats on Kotonoha with Sekai and then three other girls. He then goes back to Sekai and gets her pregnant [or so we think]. He then dumps her outright and goes back to Kotonoha. His actions are horrifying and I feel so bad for Kotonoha, but don’t worry; he gets his comeuppance. OH BOY DOES HE GET IT! I shall save it for you to discover, but all I’ll say on that subject is NICE BOAT. When it comes to the anime itself and its quality, it’s very patchy. Studio TNK [the same animators behind Itsudatte, My Santa] did a mediocre job here. The characters do sometimes look decent but the designs are a little odd in terms of proportion, positioning and basic animation. Sometimes it just stops completely. School Days was based on a dating sim game which was more graphic and a much more satisfying prospect. Just play the game, it shouldn’t have made the jump to an anime because at least in the game you can make Makoto a good guy!!

#1 – Baby Princess 3D Paradise [2011]

School Days may have been equally enraging to me, but at least that had a plot with a beginning, middle and an oh-so satisfying end. Baby Princess 3D Paradise doesn’t have that. It’s an utter pointless exercise which represents what’s wrong with anime. A boy named Yotaro moves in to his mother’s house where his nineteen [yes, nineteen!] sisters live. Their ages range from newborn to eighteen years old – an anime stereotype for EVERY otaku! Their dreams have been realised as all the sisters have the generic requisites present – technicolour hair, the right ratio of personalities ranging from brattish to playful to maternal, breasts [lots and lots of breasts] and of course chances to get their clothes off. I get that this show was an OVA based off a light novel and not meant to be taken too seriously but it feels like an utterly shameless exercise. Most of the antics happen with the younger sisters with a sexually stressed Yotaro being subjected to teasing and baiting from all the sisters and shots which linger too long on the younger girls. I’m left feeling a little sick and shamed that I even gave this show the time of day.

————–

So that’s my bottom five anime of all time. What are your least favourite anime? Leave a comment below and let’s get a discussion going!