I was surfing the internet today looking for inspiration for an article and I came across a list of the worst anime ever made. In this list was an anime I had never heard of before, Tenkuu Danzato Skelter Heaven or just Skelter+Heaven. From the stills I could tell this was going to be a bad one. Then I looked at the credits and saw it was from the studio Idea Factory – remember my review of Mars of Destruction [Anime News Network’s worst rated anime]? Yep! Same studio. Oh boy, we’re going to have a stinker here!
So what qualifies this show to be considered “the worst anime”? Is it offensive? Not really. Is it shocking? Not at all. Is it degrading or debauched? Nope. I propose this to be the “worst anime” ever simply because it’s a shoddy, sloppy and pointless mess. Unlike Mars of Destruction, Skelter+Heaven is a lot more ambitious in its execution. Sadly though that ambitious streak on the latter’s part leaves itself did not work at all and leaves the entire package open to criticism whereas the former was just simply bland.
Skelter+Heaven is set on Earth where giant alien squid thingies are attacking…well not really. All they do is just float perfectly still until they’re attacked themselves. Hardly menacing tyrants from another world now are they? This is explained after a whole minute of nothing but annoying whoo-ing and heartbeats coupled with a slow camera pan over Earth. That’s it. A single shot. Our lead character, Otsuya, is the chief pilot and blank canvas in which we pin our hopes for humanity on as well as five other girls [who are naturally the main focus because they are girls and they are pretty…or at least they might be if the animation quality wasn’t so cheap and tacky.]. These girls are…umm…I forgot. Wait, wait! I think they are called Rin, Konomo, Ayaka, Misaki and Midori. Thank you, Google! Otsuya picks Rin to lead the assault against the stoic squid ahead of Misaki [the blond one] because he is so totally not into her!
As the team start the assault, Otsuya watches on from his jetplane without moving once [Seriously, he doesn’t move in any cut to him during the battle]. As for Misaki? Don’t worry about her, she doesn’t figure in the actual battle; neither does Midori who dies with little fanfare despite the fact the quintet were close friends. Otsuya doesn’t seem to care, so we shouldn’t! Then when he gets hurled out of sight by the squid, Rin comes to save him and it’s then we are suddenly taken out of the battle and told that Rin is actually an android who doesn’t know how long she’ll live. It’s alluded that there’s a love between her and Otsuya but it’s so forced and so pathetic that it provokes this heart-warming reaction from the guy…
Yeah. He does nothing, says nothing and his face does not move an inch. At this point I burst out laughing at the sheer absurdity of it all. It gets even more insane when Rin somehow gets inside the squid and kindly tells it to blow itself up and not harm anyone…even though it hadn’t really destroyed anything bar some infantry planes in self defense…so it just slowly moves off camera and becomes a blob of blood [see below]. As a result, Rin and Ayaka [why did SHE have to die?] are killed [I think?], Misaki is injured and Konomo…I don’t know what happened! It’s like the writers forgot about her! How do you even do that?! So only one person makes it out and Otsuya’s records are destroyed for his affections towards Rin, a classified android. Smart move, guys. Especially when the same squid returns to float another day a year later with some of his friends.
End of story.
There’s no resolved conclusion. No means of defense, the world is left without anybody to defend it. Fantastic job, writers!
What makes Skelter+Heaven so terrible is that the voice acting is lacklustre [especially Otsuya], the animation is cheap and forgettable, the plot is incredibly derivative, the villain is stupid and totally not a threat, the commanding officers are jerks, Konomo [a MAIN character] is completely forgotten, incredibly sexist ‘training’ and APPALLING CGI. I can’t emphasise that last point enough. The mech and the pilot are drawn in two different styles. The textures for the robot are so muddy and unrefined and the characters look they’ve been photoshopped in instead of actually piloting the bloody thing! It’s the crowning turd in the waterpipe, so to speak. It’s the visual device which takes the show from being a lazy knockoff to ‘legendary’ status.
The only good thing about this show is that it’s only nineteen minutes long and a one-time affair. No series here. Just one coffee break’s worth. You won’t be wasting your time here and you’ll be giggling at how poor this show is. Is it the worst anime out there? According to MyAnimeList, it is! Do I think it is? In terms of an overall package, it’s certainly a strong candidate. It is a poor product which only exists because it came free with a game made for the Playstation 2 based on the franchise, just like Mars of Destruction. The game is like a normal dating sim wihere Otsuya acts as ‘the player’ and the girls are eligible to be selected by you for some extra training. Seriously, that gif was the ‘training’ portion of the OVA. Poor Misaki. Do I hate this show more than Baby Princess 3D Paradise or School Days? No. I found Skelter+Heaven hilariously bad which gives it character and didn’t make me feel horrible on the inside.
If you want to see for yourself the sheer hilarity of Tenkuu Danzatou Skelter Heaven, then here is the full OVA uploaded by AnimeNoodle. Enjoy!
What did you think of it? Leave a comment or cast your vote!